Self-Love: 4 Tips To Love Yourself Unapologetically

What is Self-love?
Self-love is appreciating yourself, regardless of the opinions of others or our personal insecurities. To achieve self love we need to be able to love ourselves unapologetically; meaning not limiting ourselves because of fears and insecurities.

4 Tips to Love Yourself Unapologetically

#1. The Goal is to ultimately love yourself

The ultimate goal is to love yourself, what I mean by this is as humans we are not perfect. As we grow there is always going to be something we dislike about ourselves. However we should never let our insecurities define us as a person.

The word ‘insecurities’ has so much negative connotations. Despite that we shouldn’t be ashamed of our insecurities but instead embrace them. As we grow older, our body will come across changes which will open a door to new dislikes. Does this mean you should dislike yourself as a whole? No. When we love ourselves ultimately, we defend our beauty the same way we would defend our character to those who don’t know us.

We will have off days/ weeks/months where we just don’t feel like ourselves. This is normal. However when we start doubting our looks, comparing our looks to others and putting ourselves down. Never forget that you are beautiful. Sometimes we would seek validation from others, but as long you don’t have the opinion for yourself. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, no one can control or change your mind about how you should feel about yourself but you.

#2. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your insecurities

Insecure people seek for insecure people. My one rule to loving yourself is never let anyone know your insecurities. Unless you know that they have good intentions, don’t let people steal your vulnerability. Keep them guessing, it may shock people when you don’t show them self-doubt.

If you are self-confident and it intimidates someone, keep doing you. At the end of the day, it’s a reflection of that person’s character. You should never worry about others’ opinions about you, because the opinion of others is none of your business. If you’re not enough for someone don’t change yourself to please them.

There’s a difference between being insecure and finding insecurities. Insecure people compare themselves to others and will try to put others down. Once they capture what sets you off, they will use it to their own advantage whether it’s internally or externally.

There will always be a few people in your life who will see your beauty and mock it. Protect what’s yours, it may be hard especially when they disparage the things you doubt, show them the love you have for yourself and eventually they will leave you alone.

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#3 Take compliments gracefully

If you find it hard to take compliments from others, it’s because you’ve put yourself down to a point where you find it hard to receive praise. The opinion of others are never more important than your own, however never deflect compliments given to you. It means you don’t appreciate yourself enough. Next time a stranger or a friend compliments you say ‘thank you’. Don’t doubt it.

Another aspect is waiting for other’s to compliment you, for you to believe it. Don’t wait for others to compliment you, do it yourself. If you’re sure you look good or did good. Why does the opinion of others have to come before yours, for you to agree.

#4 Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others will never benefit you, all it does is make you feel worse. One thing you should remember is everyone is unique. Social media has played a big part on “ideal looks” that it’s become so toxic. Don’t let what you see in the media fool you; but even so it’s important to be comfortable with who you are and the life you live. It’s the only way you’ll truly be happy with who you are.

Check out my poem The Glass is half full, it’s about self-love and the habit of comparing yourself to others and not appreciating oneself enough.

Society will always pick and choose what is ‘beautiful’ or what is ‘acceptable’. There will always be a race, body type, beauty standard that is more rated than the rest. Society will never settle or be fair. So it’s your choice whether you want to follow the crowd or just be you regardless of ‘the society you live in.